You're completely useless in the revolution.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
