Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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