I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
