if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
