No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You are a genius and a whore.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
