dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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