redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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