I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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