Don't you send me to vm
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
