Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
