He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
