Just cropdusted the office
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
