i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
we should paint friendship bongs
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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