Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
