The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
