Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
