Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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