I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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