my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
