in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I need a beard to bite.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
