At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
