dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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