He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
