Do vagina's smell?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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