She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize