arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
