i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
