90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
