I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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