look no pants
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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