Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
