He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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