Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
