Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
only you would photoshop your dick
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
