I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
