just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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