I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
