Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
