Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
