Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
