sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
