Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
