At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
