Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.

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(512): View more from Texas

After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes

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(561): View more from Florida

The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.

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(562): View more from California

I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset

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(520): View more from Arizona

He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..

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(515): View more from Iowa

im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.

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(925): View more from California

my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Drunk twilight is the only twilight

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