We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
