I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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