k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
