once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
