Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
