Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
