I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
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