you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
