We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
