Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
